The Toddler Drinking Game

A while ago, I some fucking idiot thought that it would be really cute to teach The Bug how to do cheers.

Now at dinner time (or any time that he has a cup in his hand, his line of sight or his thoughts) he screams CHEERS! And jovially wrenches his arm around like a little drunkard. He repeats this little exercise over and over and over again.

If you are unfortunate enough to have a glass nearby, you’d better drink up, ‘cause he only gets louder if you don’t.

Of course, recently, after a day that made me want to rip my eyeballs out blissfully perfect day with the boy, I completely forgot about his favorite new pastime and had a beer with dinner.

Literally, the kid did cheers like 7,000,000 times in five minutes. And, like an ass, I chugged each and every time.

Thanks to Ralph for doin' the whole night night time alone whilst I lay on the couch watching the room spin and thinking of the stories my little Bug is going to tell his friends someday about how he was playing drinkin’ games with his mom when he was 2.

Where, oh where is my mother of the year award?