Hair Today....

I am excited today because I began laser hair removal treatments yesterday; I am on my way to being forever facial hair free! Don't be too grossed out Dear Reader, it is not as if NoMommy could pass for a circus sideshow act. I keep up with the few little spots that would otherwise surely sprout hair like the back of that man at the beach who insists on wearing a speedo. But, as any woman with dark hair and fair (or in my case not-so-fair) skin on which said dark hair is noticeable when not plucked, waxed, or otherwise removed knows; even a little bit is a pain in the ass to continually remove. To that end, when a doctor acquaintance of mine offered to do laser hair removal at a reduced rate (again, not because she was like, 'holy sh*t do you need some laser hair removal'), I asked Ralph for a combined birthday/anniversary/mother's day gift (because even the reduced rate was a little steep for such vanity) and, despite not getting it at all, and thinking that I am completely insane for being so excited about never again having to pluck the gross little ickies that seem to grow out of my face overnight to wave hello to the world, Ralph shelled out the cash.

Doing this is completely out of character for me, I am not a girly girl; in fact, I only wear make-up when we are going out (which only happens a handful of times/year). However, I have had this image from childhood in my head ever since said creepy ickies started to appear, it is an image of my 90 year old great aunt sitting in front of me at church. She had beautiful long thick white hair that was worn in a perfect bun at the back of her head, she was smartly dressed in a navy blue suit and heals (I can barely walk around in heals now, but at 90!). I was admiring how put-together and classy she looked when she turned to the side, ahhhhh!!!! A carpet of wild ass little curly q's of the same white hair that was on top of her head were coming out of her chin. Since I have inherited the same thick hair as hers on top of my head, you can imagine my trepidation when I began to produce the chin hair too! To make a long story short, I don't want to be sitting in church someday (like that would ever happen) with my great whomever behind me only to hear a loud thud as she jumps back and smacks the back of her head on the pew in shock and horror as I turn to expose my goatee.